8.26.20

Personality

My kids have “personality.” This is the euphemism people who know them use instead of saying what they really think, which is something more like “loud, sometimes funny, often obnoxious, totally devoid of manners, and occasionally endearing.” I thought by having three of them I would end up with one agreeable, quiet, docile child. I did not.

My “middlest” is what uncharitable people would call “a piece of work.” (I am uncharitable, so I call him that.). He is, unquestionably, a challenging child. He is complicated and stubborn and refuses to brush his teeth. Or wear a shirt. He does not make me look like a great parent.

But you know what? He would make a great character in a book.

Today I’m doing “asynchronous learning" with him (this is another euphemism — this one refers to the large swaths of time where no one is teaching my kids anything but they are allegedly in school because someone has assigned them packets of work we might be able to complete if our printer worked). To be very clear, this time together is important and sweet and MAKES ME WANT TO PLUCK MY HAIR OUT STRAND BY STRAND. But I don’t. Instead, I smile and I help him and in my head I imagine that I am not the main character of the story I am in. I imagine that maybe everything doesn’t revolve around me and my schedule and the long list of things I have to get done. I pretend that I am a supporting character and that my son is the protagonist, a little boy with big feelings and big ideas and a very, very big voice who will one day do something awesome with his one great and wonderful life. (And then I pour myself a drink at 2pm because this level of patience and restraint deserves a reward).